(continued from below) Looking Within

I found my Blackberry lifeless beneath my bedroom window--the back had been knocked off and the batery fell out. As I started to put the phone together--feeling anxious to see if a voicemail was left--I heard the doorbell ring. "Oh please tell me that's not...there is no way she would just show up here. Would she? She would!"

I walked to the bedroom door and opened it a crack. Nobody was answering the door. I creeped along the hallway, looking downstairs to see if I could see anybody through the window that was near the front door. I could see nothing. I took two steps down the stairs and the doorbell rang out again! In my panic to dart up the stairs behind the wall, I tripped and hit my side on the stairs. In pain, I scurried to safety and peeked around the wall to see what I could see. To my horror, my little sister was walking towards the door. "Emily, don't you dare answer that door or you'll be in big trouble" I whispered sternly.

"What are you talking about?" she asked as she reached for the door.

"Emily! Listen, don't open that door!" I pleaded to no avail. Emily smirked, and then opened the door.

I moved quickly down the hall, back to the safety of my room. I kept the door open a bit so I could listen....(to be continued)

Things To Be Grateful For

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I thought it would be good to reflect on what I'm grateful for. Here are my top ten:

10. Bad dates (keeps life interesting)
9. Bill O'Reilly (keeping it fair and balanced)
8. The Utah Jazz (learning to curb my last anger problem)
7. Capitalism
6. "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness"
5. Writing (the highest form of art)
4. Liberalism (also keeps life interesting, or maybe confusing)
3. Good friends
2. Awesome family
1. Faith in God

Okay, I admit, some of these are not really things I'm being serious about; well, except the obvious ones i.e. liberalism and capitalism. Those I am extremely thankful for ; ). Some things that landed in the runner-up category include: Nancy Pelosi, the memories of John Stockton, Wild Cherry Pepsi, and Sarah Palin.

A Real Experiment

Considering this is my English experiment, I figure that it's good that I branch out of my comfort zone. I've actually been influenced a lot in the past few months by music and people around me who are very talented with music. After watching a recent film called "Music and Lyrics", I committed to attempt writing lyrics (a scary thought I know).

Unfortunately, I have no musical talent, but I do have roommates and friends that can hopefully help me learn the ropes of this fine art. So, without further ado, I present to you the first song I have written. If it appears I have no clue what I am doing, that is because I don't--but here's to experimentation:

Life In The Sky

Verse 1

Every day is up to you—
A new canvas to create on.
Open up your point-of-view—
Any fear there was is gone.

Break

Don’t look down, look up to see
I want you right here with me.

Chorus

Because the stars don’t shine as bright as you;
The sky is ours, let’s paint it too.
It’s then you’ll know what you can be;
It’s in the place you’ll finally see.

Verse 2.

Everyday can change your life—
A new path to take a chance on.
Open up your guarded heart—
All your dreams are coming true.

Break

Don’t stop now, your finally free.
I’m happy that you’re here with me

Chorus

Because the stars don’t shine as bright as you;
The sky is ours, let’s paint it too.
It’s then you’ll know what you can be;
It’s in the place you’ll finally see.

Verse 3.

Everyday you make me smile—
You’re the one I can rely on.
You’ve given everything to me—
All the fears I had are gone.

Chorus

Because the stars don’t shine as bright as you;
The sky is ours, let’s paint it too.
It’s then you’ll know what you can be;
It’s in the place you’ll finally see.

Happiness

Around the clock time passes by
While all about opportunities lie.
Minute by minute and hour by hour
Doing good is within one's power.

At work or play or running late
helping another is always great!

Happiness is not by chance to find
It comes by leaving yourself behind.
There your trueself reveals to you
The good life comes from a higher view.

Distant Perspective

Once upon the clear blue sky,
I wished upon life's future eye:
Today I pray that I can see;
I pray my vision will further be.

All in all my eyes were cleared, and
the distance I no longer feared:
The path was challenging to be sure,
But I could see thereby I could be pure.

Looking Within

Today is the day of greatest necessity, of deepest import. I must act in the present, for now is all I have. My free will can only help me in this moment; therefore, I must take the here and now and create the best reality.

My favorite poet, Sir Francis Bogart, is the one I always cite before I divulge in something regrettably stupid! Nevertheless, it was a quote that made my life considerably more interesting. For some reason, whenever I recited those memorized lines, I could propel myself to do almost anything. In this case, I was now motivated to get out of bed after four hours of sleep. Hopefully I’ll think twice the next time I let my blind date drive and hold me hostage until four in the morning watching back to back chick flicks. Then again, despite hearing about these kinds of dates, I never anticipated it happening to me. I often wonder where these clueless people come from, it is as if they are raised on some remote island by a pack of wolves and then discovered and released into society without warning. It is good to know that I will never have to see her again.

Sitting up, I leaned forward and grabbed a dirty t-shirt from the floor and then stood for nice long stretch. I was ready for a good day. I headed to the bathroom and threw a couple of splashes of cold water in my face and then paused to stare and my reflection. “You are the man. Extraordinary, innovative, and fascinating,” I paused my self praise momentarily to turn my reflection to the zit on the edge of my hairline. I began to go to work on the unsightly thing, but was interrupted by my buzzing phone. To no surprise, I couldn’t find my stupid phone in the piles of junk all over my room. Finally, I found it underneath an old bag of fast food and almost hit the talk button, but tossed my phone across the room in pure horror. Carine, the girl raised by a pack of wolves, was calling me. Why was this girl calling me?

“Its eight in the morning, what is she thinking?”

There is no way she could have thought I was interested in her, because I most certainly am not. I walked quickly across my room to retrieve my blackberry…..(to be continued)

My Adage For The Day

You cannot take advantage of tomorrow--
but of today, you can. Live as much today as
you dream of tomorrow, because now is the
only time you can borrow.

"The Invention of Lying's" Not So Subtle Lie

If you haven't seen the new Ricky Gervais movie, don't bother. It is easily the second worst movie of the year behind Sandra Bullock's "It's All About Steve". Despite the bad acting, poor writing, and not being funny--this movie portrayed the atheistic view of religion: it's a silly lie that makes people feel good and it is ridiculous to believe that God exists.

It is sad that the makers of this movie are trying to destroy faith by lying to the world--not to the world only, but to themselves. Atheism is not a belief, it is merely a denial. A denial of something born deep inside of each of us, something of the light of God. Not only this, but the intelligence of God is everywhere: the earth, planets, solar system, animals, plants, and especially human beings. Created in the image and likeness of the living God, every human being can see something of God in him or herself.

As I've written about in an earlier post, light is discernible and there is nothing about atheism that rings true--it is darkness, and it cannot account for the intelligent, complex, and beautiful design of everything about us.

Mocking faith is foolishness, especially when you consider everything we do on a daily basis is an operation of faith. I get up and turn on the light switch. I have no idea how electricity works, nor do I see it being transmitted to my light bulbs, but I know it exists. I have experienced the end results of it providing light in my room a million times. We have all experienced the electricity that God provides. We may not see Him personally, but His presence is overwhelming experienced by all. It is up to the individual to open their eyes to see and their hearts to feel; it is only by acknowledging God's presence that you can find out who you truly are.

The Best Place

In a place that's near but far
I often think of where you are.
I know it's where I want to be--
A place the heart is forever free.

Peaceful like the warm wind blows
In harmony all creation flows.
Eternal grace will be the way.
Joy forever will with us stay!

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad v. Katie Couric

Once upon a time there was a man named Ahmadinejad. Early in his childhood he was dropped on his head and fed paint chips for months. As a result, today he is unable to comprehend anything in the real world and lives in a world where reality is fantasy and fantasy is reality. Nevertheless, despite his inability to acknowledge truth, he is the ruler of a small country with a lot of oil (apparently he is substituting oil for drinking water and this is adding to his delusion).

Okay, this is not meant to be a political blog, but what are people thinking when they think they are going to reason with a man like Ahmadinejad? Any man that denies the Holocaust and says that it is a fabricated lie does not use reason to conduct his life. It is illogical to think that he can be reasoned with, and it is silly to legitimize this evil dictator by sitting down with him.

That being said, I will now stop my opining on the political world. I dare not immerse myself further in such chaos unless it might be beneficial to our country. Now, lets see, maybe I'll write a poem and see if that will heal the wounds of those that are annoyed with me ; ).

Breaking News!

In case anyone was worried, according to Forbes Magazine Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, and the Waltons are all still filthy rich. The recession did hurt a little bit, however, Bill is now only worth 5o billion instead of 57 billion. So, if you thought you had it rough this year remember that Bill Gates lost 7 billion dollars. What do you have to complain about?

P.S. I just had the thought that Bill Gates probably makes more in one second than I do in an entire year. That's depressing, I think I'm going to bed now ; ).

Finding Truth Everywhere

As an English major, I get to study a wide range of philosophy. In fact, English and Philosophy are very similar degrees. I have learned a lot of new ideas and am fascinated by the many ways people think. Although I have my values and beliefs, I have come to understand that there are many pieces of truth everywhere; and I believe that each person that is born into this world provides a completely unique lense into reality. All people have a light that can teach the world something new.

It is important to realize that the status quo will never be sufficient for progression. Culture and norms have their place, but keeping an open mind to the light surrounding us is essential to growth.

What is truth that I may find it? Anything that lights up a darkened spot in the soul is true. You'll know it because light is decernable. Its liberating.

The Free Verse

It has come to my attention that free verse seems to be the new big thing. To be honest, it has never really appealed to me, however, it does prove useful to thoroughly confuse people; and I've always enjoyed doing that. I know, I need help. I've only read maybe two free verse poems that actually made sense to me. I just wrote one below to try it out and I'm not even sure if my own poem makes sense to me. So, if you, the two people that read this blog, felt confused by the poem below, you are not alone. I, also, am confused.

I just had an epiphany. People who are confused must write the confusion down and by reading it they make sense of their own chaotic mind. The rest of us are just so confused that we assume it is profoundly good art. It must be, or else we'd get it, right? Wrong! That was no epiphany, and I am writing to late again. Goodnight.

I will never replace the feeling
It's deep within my soul.
Memories unfolded--
Traces comfort
Me.
Letting go seems
difficult, but
Hoping on is
True.
Here's to hoping it
Can be seen within
The guarded
Heart.

Progression Needs Mistakes

Today has come all but to a close. My daily dose of reality has taught me again. Life--each hour and moment--is a profound discourse; and is taught, as we permit, by the grand Author of the Universe. It is essential to our progression that mistakes are made and learned from--both our own and those of others. My only hope is that I will be kind and patient with those to whom I learn from and that those to whom my mistakes give wisdom will return the same. I feel as I wrote earlier:

Mistakes are made by one and all:

Even the great ones occationally fall.

Legends are made by challenging fear;

nobodies forgotten by keeping their clear.

Nine, Nine, Nine--Let the Celebrations of 09/09/09 Begin!

I'd like to wish you all a very happy nine to the third power. As many people are saying, this is a very special day. In fact, there really is no other like it. Its pretty likely you will never see a day with so many nines again. Please celebrate responsibly, but have fun. Have a spree. And remember, just because your not sure why everyone is saying this day is so special, doesn't mean its not. It most definitely is. Although I don't know why exactly, I have full faith in the numerologists that say so and so should you. Good luck and remember this day forever.

I'd Like to Welcome Myself Back.

For a moment there I was lost. Six months is hardly a moment, but it still feels that way. Nevertheless I am back with a vengeance and ready to write! Write myself senseless, because that is what English experimentation is all about. I write, therefore I am. My identity is now restored. Whew...okay, that is enough writing for one day. Its best to ease your way back into things--I wouldn't want to pull a cell in my out-of-shape brain.

Colors

With all the color everywhere
Why do people stop and snare:
It should be black and white they cry,
But color abounds to fill the eye.

Everyone walks with an arrey of color,
But with black and white they judge each other.

Color is a mixture of other color,
Many colors make another.
Black and white will never do,
Not all the color is revealed to you.

Fact or Fiction 5 "I Am In Love With You"

(Finale)....Right as I reached the door, there was a hard knock that startled me. My anxiety put me in a sort of trance. I opened the door and saw the love of my life standing before me. She gave a slight smile and said, "Hey."

She walked towards me at gave me a hug. Something seemed strange to me about her demeanor, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I figured I was just being paranoid. She walked towards the living room and sat down. I followed. I was about to say something and then she blurted, "We need to talk."

"We do?" I asked. I suddenly felt a hundred times more uneasy that before. I knew I needed to talk, but now she needed to talk? My mind started to race a hundred miles an hour. Then the doorbell rang. "Who could that be?" I said.

I walked towards the door and opened it. I was surprised to find a tall, Rico Suave type male standing in front of me. "Can I help you?"



"Yes, is Rachel here?"



"Maybe, who are you?"



"I'm her...."



"...Fiance" said Rachel entering the hallway.



I slammed the door in Brad Pitt's face. "Taylor, I'm sorry I meant to tell you." she said.



I paused, and then just said it, "Rachel, I am in love with you. I always have been with all my heart, and that's why I wanted to talk to you. Your my best friend and I want to marry you and take care of you forever."

Rachel's moron fiance started to bang on the door.

"Tom, just wait in the car!" she yelled. The banging stopped. She stood there frowning, looking at me with her beautiful, piercing eyes. Eyes Tom could never appreciate. She looked down, and I just stood there. Finally she looked up and walked towards me. She reached up, putting both of her hands on my face and stared deep into my eyes. I saw a tear trickle down her cheek. She kissed me and then gave me a long hug. "I wish you would have told me sooner," she said softly and then walked slowly towards the door. After she opened it, she turned back with a look of sadness and then walked out.

I just stood there for a few minutes. I felt as though I had been hit in the face with a sledge hammer. I heard the car out front start up and drive off. My best friend, driving off into the sunset with a blockhead. Then, the door bell rang. I didn't move. I couldn't. It rang again. Finally I walked to the door and opened it. It was Rachel.

Tears in her eyes she just hugged me, then she pulled back. "What's going on," I asked. "I thought you were gone."

"I got in the car and took one look at Tom and I knew that I had never felt anything close to what I had just felt moments before with you. I told him I was staying. He got mad and told me to get out of his car and drove off."

I hugged her again. "I meant what I said in there. I want to be with you forever and always. I want to marry you." I said.

"This time I know you mean it," she said smiling.

She was right, I did mean it. I had never meant something more in my life, and having almost lost her again, I would never again gamble with true happiness.

Fact or Fiction 5 (Cont.) "I Am In Love With You"

I felt the butterflies mounting in my stomach. I had never felt so certain, and yet, so uncertain in all my life. I knew I was in love and that I wanted to be with her forever, but was it too late? Any minute now and she would arrive. Although I had rehearsed what I was going to say a hundred times, I couldn't remember anything now. I started to pace back and forth, occasionally looking out the front window for her car. My palms were sweaty as my nerves persisted.

I stopped pacing for a minute and chuckled. Never in my life had I really opened my heart up to a woman, and now I think I knew why. Despite the difficulty, I knew the hope of having her far outweighed the prospect of rejection and despair.

Lights flashed through my window. My heart jumped as I walked to the window to look. It was her. My chest started to pound and I felt panick. "What am I thinking?" I asked outloud. I walked back into the kitchen, trying to gather my thoughts. The doorbell rang and I froze. I felt tempted not to answer, but then my legs started walking toward the door....(to be continued)

Making Sense Of It All

CLICK ON IMAGE TO MAKE LARGER

Fear of Falling

Photo: fotosearch.com

Mistakes are made by one and all:
Even the great ones occasionally fall.

Legends are made by challenging fear;
Nobodies are forgotten by keeping their clear.

Fact or Fiction 5 "I Am In Love With You"

I started to pace back and forth, because I couldn't stop figiting. It was time that I finally let her know what I was feeling--what I've always felt. I had told her before, but not completely. Not the way I should have. It was usually the case that I kept my feelings at least partially on guard. My heart, for the most part, has always been highly secured; comparable to Fort Knox. Such security has made it impossible to really express and give what I wanted to. Now, however, I was ready. The questions was: would she give me another chance? I was ready to find out....(to be cont.).

Will I Find?

One day there will be a time to recollect:
Did I treat with love all the people I've met?
What were my motivations in helping a friend?
Were my good deeds simply a means to an end?
Did I become what I came here to be:
The child of my Father; Divine Deity:
Merciful, forgiving, loving and kind;
To such an end my happiness to find?

Seeing Beauty All Around

Photo: Wikipedia.org

When I first saw "the most influential piece of artwork of the 20th century", I scoffed (1). I'm sure many of Duchamp's initial viewers did the same. A plain old urinal; who would have thought it could be profound?

I believe there are many interpretations of it's meaning, and I'm sure the perceptions of what makes this piece great vary; but I'd like to add my own. Duchamp's genius, in my mind, was to take something viewed as so ordinary, so common place, and even disgusting for what it used for, and expose its beauty. Taking it out of the bathroom and putting it on the wall was the stroke of genius that helped people see beauty in a urinal.

Indoor plumbing itself is an incredible miracle, but how often do we as humans take time to appreciate how blessed we are. A urinal was invented and designed and put together with time and talent just like many of the other great and simple things of our day, but who would take the time to appreciate such a thing? Who can see past the very basic use of such an invention?

I think this artwork leads one to think deeper about more important things than a urinal. We as humans have a tendency to look very narrowly at the world around us. Can you see past the weaknesses of a friend and appreciate their inner beauty. Can you see the capabilities in someone with disabilities? Do you threaten to sue an airline that doesn't have enough meals or has a slight delay? How about if you spill coffee on yourself, do you sue the preparer of the coffee for it being too hot?

The world is quickly turning to a view of entitlement and is less and less grateful for the many blessings of modern convenience. This view is causing many to be far more harsh to others around them, because they feel they are owed everything. There is no time for imperfection, and if you are imperfect, you aren't worth much. The only problem with this is that no one can live up to it! Gratitude is a huge ingredient to peace and happiness. From the big things to the little things and from the most influential people to the least, seeing beauty in the world around us and being grateful for it will lead to a much better life for everyone.

1. www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fountain_(Duchamp)

The Grandness Of You

Look in the mirror today and see
The face of certain speciality.

No other image is quite like thine;
Thy person is evidence of power Divine.

Potential is a gift for all that be, but
Becoming happens for those that see.

Look in the mirror and thou wilt find
There are possibilities of every kind.

Thou art something completely unique;
Share with confidence thy grand mystique.
Then with joy thy mission complete.

Writer's Block

I look at the page before me and for some
Reason my brain seems to be just as blank.
No words are willing to walk on stage.
No thought has the strength to make my mind engage.

The well of ideas has seemingly run dry.
Either that or my reach is simply too high.

I must go to work and dig deeper to find
The ideas that work to enlighten the mind.

Deeper and deeper my efforts are strong,
But I the writer don't last very long.
Maybe tomorrow I'll just write you a song.

Fact or Fiction--Part 4 "The Shed"

(Finale)...My head was spinning. I tried to sit up, but the boxes under me started to slide and I slid with them until I hit the cement floor. I couldn't believe I just fell out of the shed attic. I looked up at the entrance from where I fell and noticed a little furry head poking out. Then the shame--the thing started to mew at me. "A cat! A blasted, stupid cat! I am an idiot!" I shouted.

I punched one of the boxes next to me in anger. It turned out it had something solid in it. I cursed out in pain and looked up to see if the cat was still there, but it was gone. Then I lost it. I started throwing boxes around and kicking everything in my path. I was going to get that dumb cat! Looking back now, I am sure glad no one from my office heard me, because I was ranting about like a rave lunatic.

Then, I heard another noise; this time it was something that sounded like heavy footsteps. I ran over below the ladder and peered up and saw peering down at me a man that looked like Grizzly Adams. "Are you alright?" he asked calmly.

"Judest Priest!" I yelled.

I attempted to run, but tripped over an unravelled extension cord, further injuring my leg. I yelped in pain, but got back up quickly and bolted for the door. I limped across the lawn like a wounded dog, dragging my left leg. I reached the office and threw open the back door. Margery was standing there filing and turned pale white at the sight of me. "What in the world happened to you?" she questioned.

"A man...there is a man..a..a hairy man out in the shed," I stammered, gasping for air.

"Oh my heck! Your bleeding!"

"Don't worry about that! Call the police!" I snapped at her.

Margery ran out of the room and came back with my boss. "Good grief. What's going on here?" he asked. "Margery said someone attacked you. Are they still out there?"

"I think so boss."

My boss walked out the back door and I followed. Walking behind my boss I stopped about half way out to the shed, not wanting to see the chewbacca looking homeless man lurking about. My boss was about ten feet away from the door when it opened and the man walked out; he was obviously startled, taking a few quick steps back. The man had a huge pack on his shoulder and his rabid cat in his arms. My boss started talking to him, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. The man got a little excited and started pointing at me. Then what happened next almost floored me--my boss proceeded to take out his wallet and handed the guy some money. Then they shook hands and the homeless man started to walk off.

My boss went and secured the shed and then started walking back my way. As he approached he gave me a shrug and said, "Well, I'm glad we have that taken care of. You might want to make sure the shed is locked from now on." He then headed for the back door. "Oh, and the shed is a mess, can you get that cleaned up before you leave." My boss then slammed the back door tight.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I shouted. I stood there for a moment, examining my cut up arms. I then paused, wondering if I had somehow entered the Twilight Zone. I have no idea why, but I then proceeded towards the shed to clean it up as if nothing had happened.

Fact or Fiction 4--The Shed (cont.)

(cont.)...I ran across the lawn and opened the office door, hitting something on the other side. "Ah, easy there!" said a voice that strangely resembled that of my boss.

After the person moved, I found my boss on the other side with an eyebrow raised in my direction. "Sorry boss, I was just in the shed..."

"Mr. Carol, Mr. Davenport is on the phone, he says it's urgent," interrupted Margery, the head secretary.

My boss, without further ado, headed for his office. Margery flashed me a big smile. "Taylor, where have you been?" she asked.

"Oh, you know, just out in the shed fighting off wild rats and the like," I said with a smirk. "I'm heading back out, so if I'm not back in about twenty minutes, call the Calvary."

Margery laughed and went on her way. I turned around and opened the back door and faced the shed. I knew I couldn't just leave that monster out there to destroy anything in its path; or was it two monsters? I had forgotten about the other noise coming from the opposite side of the building.

I walked out towards the shed again, feeling it might be my last time. I snuck up to the door and put my ear against it, and tried to listen for any ruckus. Dead silence.

I made a lot of noise as I opened the door. As I entered I looked for something that might serve as a weapon. I figured it might come in handy if I was attacked. All I could find was a broom stick. "That'll do," I thought out loud.

I paused for a moment to see if I could detect any noise. The shed remained as calm as a summer morning. I looked forward to the latter that lead up into the attic. It appeared to be covered in cobwebs. Despite my fear, I pressed forward. I stood at the bottom of the ladder and looked up--it was dark up there, really dark. I again paused to listen, but silence persisted. I took a deep breath and began to clime into the dark.

I got to the top and tried to see what was around me. There was some dim light sneaking in through various cracks in the walls and through a small whole in the roof. All I could make out where some boxes scattered about--I couldn't see anything in the corners. I took the broom stick and began to hit the floor and shouted, "where are you! I know your up here!"

I heard something shifting, and then it sounded as if something got knocked over. My heart began to beat as if it where going to beat a hole in my chest. I frantically looked about, trying to decipher what was happening. "Come out!" I yelled, stomping my foot on the floor.

I paused to listen, but there was more silence. I jumped up and down; this time I heard something moving, something moving toward me. I grabbed my cell phone to flash the light in front of me. I screamed like a girl and stepped backwards forgetting about the hole in the floor where the ladder was. I fell about five feet before smacking my backside into a pile of boxes and my head into the side of an old dresser. The dust that circled about me filled my lungs as I laid there in agony....(to be continued).

A Thought For A Special Someone

Photo by: www.fabiovisentin.com

If you were a rose, I think you'd be white:

beautiful and pure; a wonderful sight.

Better than a rose, your presence is sweet;
Your life with mine has made me complete!